Not The Kid I Used To Be
by SparkledDreams
Summary: Edward and Bella have been best friends since birth, and were inseparable. That is, until eighth grade when Edward's newfound popularity gets to his head. When Edward betrays Bella in the worst kind of way, Bella leaves for a British boarding school for the next three years. She takes on a whole new character. What happens when Bella gets back? BxOC, Ex?, RxE, AxJ, CxE Lots of OCs
1. Chapter One: Drifting Away

Not The Kid I Used To Be

Chapter One: Drifting Away

Bella

"Hey, Edweirdo!" I called, hopping off my royal blue penny board and sprinting up to my amused best friend.

"Bella, that name has been banned. Can't you just call me something else, like...hmm, let's see, oh yeah…Edward!" Edward replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes good-naturedly. I smiled.

"I guess, but where would be the fun in that?" I asked cheekily. Edward chuckled, and draped an arm over my shoulder.

Edward and I had been best friends ever since birth. He was actually at the hospital when I was born, his mother, Esme, being my mom's best friend. We'd stuck together since then, and here we were.

But ever since eighth grade started two months ago, Edward had received lots of attention from girls. He had come back from summer looking like Adonis, and everyone adored him. He had started to ditch me for every girl who spoke to him, and I wasn't happy, but nevertheless, I forgave him for it all, even though I had loved him since fifth grade.

Ugh. Here we go again. Lauren Mallory was heading our way. "Hey, _Eddie," _she purred, her hands running up and down his chest. I pulled away.

"If you'll excuse me, Edward, I have to go vomit," I said, and Edward seemed as if he didn't care. He began to kiss her lips passionately, and I felt my heart snap into millions of tiny pieces.

What did he see in her? All she could be credited for was being pretty, and that was with her five pounds of makeup, dyed blond hair, and fake tan. So what, Lauren was popular? Did popularity mean that much to him? These days, I wasn't even sure.

"Earth to Bella?" A voice interrupted my angry rambling. I looked up to see Angela Weber standing before me, waving her hand in front of my face.

"Sorry, Ang, lost in thought. What's up?" I asked casually, walking beside her in the hallway to Math for first period.

Angela had been an amazing friend to me since sixth grade when my beloved cousin, Danielle, slipped into a coma after being bullied by a boy at her school in New Jersey. She never woke up, and died last year. Angela and Edward had come to my house with five boxes of tissues, six boxes of cookie dough, and a bag full of movies. Of course, they were my only friends, and of course, that was before Edward drifted away from me.

"You seem…disappointed. Is it Edward and his new slut?" Angela always seemed to know what was wrong. My dad always said she was incredibly intuitive for a fourteen-year-old. I agreed with him.

"As always," I grumbled as we walked into the Math classroom. Mr. Thomas began the lesson right after we took our seats. The day passed relatively quickly, Edward blowing me off to sit with the popular kids. I sat with Angela and Ben Cheney. After school, I waited for Edward for an hour, before skateboarding home myself. What hurt the most was when I saw Edward and Jessica Stanley cuddling on Edward's balcony as I passed his house. And of course, as I waved, he didn't notice.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Sorry its so short. THis chapter was boring and hard to write. Chapter Two will be better, hopefully.

-SparkledDreams


	2. Chapter Two: Kingcrest Academy

Not The Kid I Used To Be

Chapter Two: Kingcrest Academy

Bella

I woke the next morning with a start, and groaned when I saw on my calendar that it was a Wednesday.

Wednesdays were horrible, horrible days. Wednesday was the day eighth grade started. Wednesday was the day I lost my best friend. Wednesday was the gloomiest day of the week.

I stumbled out of my bed, groggy and disoriented. I stood before the mirror in my bathroom, staring disappointed at the reflection in the mirror. The dull brown hair that hung to my shoulders, boring brown eyes, pale skin, tiny 5'0 frame – I was hideous! I couldn't blame Edward for not wanting to be seen with me.

I sighed, and splashed water on my face, trying to brighten up the deadened expression on my face that was stuck to my face like a mask. I yanked a brush through my hair, not even caring how I looked anymore. It wasn't like I'd be able to pull off any look that was half decent.

I trudged back to my bedroom, and pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I took one look at the outfit before throwing on my treasured hoodie from Abercrombie and Fitch, the one nice thing I owned. The navy article of clothing fit me snugly, and it kept me incredibly warm. I adored it.

I didn't have breakfast that morning. I skateboarded to school again, not even greeting Charlie as I ran out the door. The depression I was falling into was getting pathetic.

I was about ten minutes early when I arrived at the school. I spotted my only friend sitting by the front steps, reading a pamphlet. Her light brown hair hung over her shoulders as she bent over her reading. This was to be expected from Angela. Ever the bookworm.

I rode over to her, adjusting my brown and purple backpack on my shoulders as I glided over the blacktop. "Hi, Bella," Angela said, not looking up from her lap. I chuckled at her flat tone.

"Hi, Miss Enthusiasm. What're you reading?" I implored, plopping down next to her. Angela handed me the booklet she was holding.

KINGCREST ACADEMY OF PERFORMING ARTS

AND LITERATURE

LOCATED IN NORTHERN ENGLAND

AGES 14 THROUGH 18

FULL SCHOLARSHIPS AVAILABLE

The rest of the brochure went on to describe the benefits of attending Kingcrest Academy. I looked up at Angela.

"Ang! Full scholarships available!" I gasped, delighted for my friend. She'd always wanted to go to a boarding school out of Forks! She was an amazing writer, and wrote with a passion. Kingcrest Academy seemed perfect for her.

"I wasn't looking at it for me, idiot. I was looking at it for _you_!" Angela replied, smiling broadly. I stared at her, wide-eyed and incredulous.

"Me? Why _me_?" I questioned, confused. How could I attend a fancy boarding school such as this? Why would I?

"Don't be stupid, Bells. You know you're amazing at singing and theater. This could be great for you! See here, it says, 'We specialize in acting, singing, writing, editing, and modeling! Modeling, Bells!" Angela shrieked excitedly, gripping my forearms.

"Angela, take a good look at me. We both know I'm dead ugly. What makes you think modeling is the right field for me?" I said, utterly shocked that she'd think I could go to a place like this.

"Bella, I've already looked into it. Handed in your application too. Took time out of my day to do it for you. They said they'll call me back later today!"

…

"You did WHAT?!"

"Bells, you know you would never do it if I didn't do it for you. You deserve this! Your life has been rough, let me try and make it better!" Angela protested as I began to shake my head vigorously.

"Ang…I don't know about this. What about Charlie? You know, I appreciate it, but I don't think I should do this," I said, letting my heart sink into the depths of reluctant disappointment. I wanted to go, but I knew the right thing to do would be to stay.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I'll tell you this once, and only once. Listen up. I would not be doing this if I didn't think you should. Why would I? I'd be losing my only friend, for Pete's sake! With everything going on with you, I think it's a good idea to just consider going. They're thinking about giving you a full scholarship, Bella!" Angela said sternly, looking into my eyes.

I thought for a moment. It would be nice to get away from this place for a few years. The whole Edward fiasco was ruining my life, and I had to stop moping after him. I could not let a boy dominate my future.

"Alright, Angela. I'll consider it."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Another short one. The chapters will get longer as the story goes on.

**Next chapter will include:**

_Edward's betrayal_

_Bella's departure_

_A death of a loved one_

_An adoption of a mourner_

-SparkledDreams


	3. Chapter Three: Over

Not The Kid I Used To Be

Chapter Three: Over

Bella

I had just gotten home from school.

Have you ever had a growing feel of anxiety? Or a feeling of apprehension, right before something terrible happened? That was exactly what I felt, walking up to my front door.

The day had been crappy, like I knew t would be. It was a goddamn Wednesday, for crying out loud. Of course it would be a bad day.

I had tried to sit with Edward at lunch. He had completely ignored me when I tried to talk to him, and when the cool kids at his table began pelting me with meatballs, he didn't stop them, acting oblivious.

So I had run to Angela, of course, who was always there with a shoulder and tissues.

After skateboarding home (and seeing Edward ride his bike home with a giggling Noah Tyler on the handlebars), I had no room left for any other disappointments.

You can imagine what happened when I found my father lying in his own pool of blood, dead as a doornail.

I fell to my knees. My mouth hung open, no sounds escaping. Time seemed to freeze.

_Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. Charlie. _

The cops came after a while. They saw the front door wide open, and knew the Chief would never leave it like that. I was still in my stunned position. According to Officer Hornet, I had gone into shock.

He had tried to lift me, but I began to scream. I fell to the floor beside my dad, writhing in the blood. I yelled at my dad, told him to come back to me.

Nothing.

No noise penetrated my bubble of soundless agony. I was alone. I could feel my own pain bouncing off the walls in my heart, ripping a hole open. I felt it shatter as they took Charlie away.

And then the true horror hit me.

I was taken away too.

"Hey, Bells. Let me in. We have to talk about this. You'll go crazy if you keep it in."

Angela kept banging on the door.

Angela's parents took me in until the documents saying that I was an emancipated minor were released from the police station. They'd offered to adopt me, but I declined.

I couldn't burden the Webers too.

Charlie had died because of me.

He committed suicide, after seeing me fall into depression.

This was all my fault.

I refused to kill the Webers too.

"Bella, I am not leaving until you open up, so…" Angela sighed, and I heard her lean against the bedroom door. I rolled over on the king-sized bed, facing the door. I contemplated my options before getting up and swinging the door open.

Angela stared at me.

"Bella, you look like you've been to hell and back," she confessed. I rolled my eyes. "You think I care anymore? Hell is what I deserve." I stumbled back to my bed, curling into a ball.

"Oh, honey," Angela murmured, walking over to my side and sitting down on the bed. "This is not your fault."

"Yes it is, Angela! You don't understand, this is my fault! My depression killed him! He committed suicide because of me! His note even said so! He took a gun and shot himself in the fucking heart! I KILLED MY OWN FUCKING FATHER, ANGELA!" I bellowed hysterically. I let a single tear drip down my cheek as I turned away from my best friend.

"Bella, this depression wasn't your fault. You can't help it if you're depressed. Never think this is your fault. I'll leave you alone, but think for a while. How could this be your fault? Why were you depressed? You and I both know the answer, Bella," Angela said, before exiting the room.

Why had I been depressed?

_Edward._

* * *

I didn't blame Edward for my father's death.

It was my fault that I had let myself fall into depression. My fault that I had stopped smiling. My fault that I had allowed a boy to get that close to me.

My entire fault.

The funeral was today. Edward would be coming.

I invited him.

He had come to the Webers with marshmallows, and ate them with me as I stared at the ceiling. I didn't mention that I hated marshmallows. He pressed me to tell him more about my dad's death; why he did it, when it happened, how I think he felt. I didn't mention that Angela knew I didn't want to talk.

Edward just wasn't the same anymore.

He claimed that he cared, but how could he, if he didn't even know my favorite comfort food? How could he, when he tried to make me give a second-by-second account of my father's death?

No, Edward Cullen didn't care about me anymore.

I got up to say my speech as the Deputy Officer stepped down from the pedestal. I felt my heart rise to my throat, constricting my air. I took deep breaths, trying to keep my emotions from bubbling up again. Not here. Not now.

"My dad was…" I realized that my speech had come right out of the books. It held no semblance of the love I had for my father.

"Screw this speech. I realize now that the best words I can say to my dad come from my heart, not from a pen. Charlie Swan was a man of many things. Courage, strength, compassion…But the one thing my dad never was, and never will be mistaken for is a coward. The act that killed my father was not a cowardly act. It was one of sacrifice. These past few weeks have been incredibly hard for me. He understood that. He understood that I was nearing my own end. I knew it too. I knew that, within the next month, I would be dead, because the depression I had fallen into was overwhelming both of us. So he took that option away from me. My father knew that if he died, I would feel the love he had for me, and I would know that he wanted me to continue living. That may not make much sense, so I will explain.

"Charlie knew I needed something to spur me on, to keep me going. His death was a bad example, but certainly what he was looking for. He knew that I would never wish him to die in vain. So by killing himself, he gave me the spirit to do him proud. And that I will. I will not let his death be for nothing. My dad was not a coward, and his sacrifice for me can prove that," I concluded, hearing my voice crack. The mourners in the pews bowed their heads. All except one gave me looks of pity. Angela nodded her head at me, approval and pride in her eyes.

As I walked back to my seat, I scanned the crowd. And again. And again.

Edward fucking Cullen wasn't at my father's funeral.

* * *

I stormed up to the Cullen house, seeing red. I had dashed out of the church, feeling my anger multiply. How dare the little bastard miss Charlie's funeral?

As I swung the unlocked door open, I tried to calm myself. Perhaps Edward was extremely ill. He wouldn't intentionally hurt me like this and disrespect and dishonor my father's memory. Right?

As soon as I heard the moans, I was in a fiery rage.

I slammed into Edward's room, seeing the worst sight imaginable. Edward was on his bed (clothed, thankfully), a blonde girl known as Lauren Mallory on top of him.

"B-Bella? What're you doing here?" Edward stuttered, blush creeping up on his cheeks.

Not only was Edward doing what I think he was doing at fourteen, he had not attended Charlie's funeral for this? This was the last straw.

"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU, CULLEN! MY FATHER, YOUR _GODFATHER, _IS DEAD, AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE RESPECT TO SHOW UP TO HIS FUNERAL?!" I shouted, feeling my heart disappear. Not break, or shatter, but disappear. In its place, a stone wall stood, defending me from this pain again.

I took a picture of the pair on the bed with my phone, Lauren and Edward's faces both looking at the camera. "Some best friend, Edward. Sorry that I inconvenienced you two. I won't bother you with something as inferior as _friendship," _I growled out, turning on my heel and stalking out of the house. I shook with fury, before I felt tender arms encircle me.

"Bella, it's alright. They're here to take you. Come, Bella, it's okay. You'll be okay," Angela murmured, leading me away to a black Audi on the side of the road. As I slipped in, I heard Angela snarl at someone on the sidewalk.

"What happened to best friends? Or are you above that now, _Cullen?" _she snarled, before getting in the car next to me, closing the door just as the car zipped away.

"Hello, Bella. I'm Mrs. Potter, though you can call me Avery if you want," the woman in the passenger seat said excitedly. She looked to be in her mid-thirties, but had a much younger aura.

"Angela, if this is another one of your cousins kidnapping me to take me to a party to lift my spirits, I swear, I will never speak to you again," I threatened emptily. I was hollow inside. Nothing left in me.

"Uh, no. This is the woman you'll be staying with while you attend Kingcrest. She's also willing to adopt you."

* * *

**Author's Note: **Lots of action in this! Next chapter should be longer. I think I might update in a few days. Sorry for the wait. Spread the word of my story please!

**Next chapter will include:**

_Bella's new friends_

_Edward's realization of what he lost_

_And a super cute guy by the name of James! (not evil sadistic guy. Name is entirely coincidental!)_

-SparkledDreams


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